Lonely Planet - you fucked that one up

Let me begin by thanking my allegiant readers of this blog for their valued allegiance. I hope you will continue to allege.

And to all you clown shoes wearing ass clowns in clown-like shoes who don't write to me; Just know I'm forming a violent religious army to squash you for your traitorous non-acts. Oh, I'm also forming a religion.

Before I reference the title of this post, I'm going to casually meander through my various Indian thoughts and experiences in no relevant order.

For example, I saw a bus driver violently dragged from his vehicle by two shouting, angry motorists in Delhi. My assumption is that he caused some minor accident, though nothing major was apparent while in my passing tuk tuk. Elizabeth asked the driver of our wall-less taxi if they were going to beat up the bus driver, and he said, in Hindi, "Definitely. Bus drivers are dirty drivers, the worst, everyone hates them and how they drive. Also, all praise Ganesh - he totally rocks." I've read about such brutal motorist responses when someone is at fault for harming another, and it was interesting to see it in effect. Clearly I'd prefer problems of the sort to be settled over tea and elaborate exercises in utilizing both parties' vocabulary, but regardless of my presence, the outcome was apparent.

My father made an interesting, yet simple observation that I'd like to dwell on for a paragraph. As stated, he is extremely well educated on India's history and religions and takes some aspects of the faiths to heart. After being blessed by a guru in a rural temple and later discussing the history of the Hindu g0ds, he said, "It's really amazing that people actually believe this. These aren't just interesting stories - People live their lives by it." A billion people. And it's true. Hinduism is fascinating on many levels, with certain elements that are at the top of the philosophical pyramid in my eyes in terms of lessons to live by. But it is more than that here. Ganesh, the elephant g0d of good luck, who clears away all obstacles from your path - is the first invited to every wedding to do just that. Modern Indians who wear Armani, eat cheeseburgers and drink 5 times a week send him an invitation before anyone else - he is always the first invited to clear the way. Every one of the many, many g0ds has their specific relevance. Whats more are the stories, such as that of Ganesh and how he came to be the elephant g0d: that his father, Lord Shiva, decapitated his son at night, believing him to be an intruder. Swearing to bring his son back to life, Shiva took the head of the next creature he saw - an elephant - and brought his son back from the dead. Now I'm no torah scholar, but I don't remember Moses crossbreeding species.

I wore a seatbelt the other day. I was in a toyota SUV - what stunning luxury here I might add - and in the back seat , for the first time I actually got to wear a seatbelt. It hadn't happened yet, and I felt like royalty (read: King of Caucasia). Not only was I amazed that I got to wear one, but I was amazed that I was amazed. Amazing.

While venturing from rural house to house in Jodhpur, we saw a small textile operation making rugs, an impressive family business making anything and everything out of clay, and an opium addict. The old man crushed up the opium, mixed it with water, strained it, offered some to Lord Shiva by flicking it from his finger at the g0d's image while praying, and then drank it. While 9 white people sat and watched. First of all, its pretty cool for him that he got paid for us to come to his home and watch him do drugs (clay walls dividing up 4 rooms: the smaller two were a bedroom for the whole family and a storage room - being the only ones with dishevelled rooftops). He talked - translated by our guide through his distracting mustache - about how he began doing drugs when he was 14, and now through the hard work in the field he uses it as a pain reliever. Women in the family are not allowed to do drugs, and yes it is illegal. It costs about 40,000 rupee's per kilo (approx $1,000), and he spends about 4500 rupees a month ($115). He goes through, by my estimate, about 3 grams a day taking it once in the morning and night. He estimated his family's monthly income at about 6000-7000 rupees a month.

Well that is about it. There is absolutely nothing else of any relevance that I have to say. Not one more story referenced at any point in this blog worth mentioning. ...bye!